Anniversary

Yesterday was our 8th anniversary. I stopped and got a card on the way home from work and signed it as our 7th. 8 yrs have gone by so fast. My 2 previous marriages had never made it past yr 6. That is why, I guess it seemed like 7 years. Or, was there a year that I felt detached, which is kind of a segway into today's ramble. Married people often do things to get back at one another. I am just as guilty as the next person and I admit it. It is something I have carried over since my first marriage. I felt like she (#1) cheated on me so I returned the favor. It hasn't came to that in current marriage, but there are times when I do or say something that I know hurts or makes her angry. It is just a retaliation strike. I have gotten a little better these past couple of years. It is a vicious game that no one wins. For instance, I don't wear my wedding band. I do that as a retaliatory strike. I got home from work last night and checked out twitter. Sure enough she had tweeted on "our day". It made me furious, although I tried to keep emotions in-check. I reluctantly put the ring on for just one night and will take it off today. One day I would love to stop acting this way. But, I have to have assurances she will do the same. I love her and am committed to her. I have taken my vows very seriously. I just don't want the little strikes back and forth to lead to an emotional nuclear war in which there will be no winners and another marriage in ruins.