The Big C

Well it appears as though the big C-word will be making a come-back into my life. The C-word is of course cancer. When you're young you think of cancer as an older person disease. Sure there are case when it hits kids, but I figured it'd come to me in the fall of my life, not the summer. I was diagnosed with Papillary Thyroid cancer in May of 2008. The fine needle biopsy came back negative, but the doctor that I had do the biopsy was still concerned. So, he did a complete thryoid removal and found out I had cancer in both lobes of the thyroid. I've been on thyroid replacement horomones since. I had an ultra sound on my throat a few weks ago and the are 3 new tumors in my neck. I am still waiting on biopsy results (my endo doc is slow). But, he is sure it cancer again. So, what do I do? He has talked of cutting me open again and having all 3 tumors removed. He used the term "cherry picking" to describe the process of cutting me open every so often and getting tumors out as they pop-up. I'm not too keen on this idea. I don't want 10 scars on my neck. Turtle neck sweaters and shirts have not been in style for years. They way I see it I have 3 options and they all suck. I can opt for 10 scars, stop taking thyroid meds, or I can decline all surgerical options. The last 2 will mean death. Lack of meds will cause congestive heart failure. To decline all surgeries would lead to eventual spreading of the cancer into lymph nodes and other organs. At what point do you say, "screw-it". I've done all I wanted to do in life except have kids of my own and I am past that point. Life isn't very much fun anymore. I've always told my wife if I got a terminal cancer I would decline chemo and just head-off quietly into the night. Maybe once I finish my bucket list, I may go that route. Yes folks, my next blog will contain my list of things to do before I die. I'll start with 100 hundred in my mind and have it down to 50 for my blog. Welcome back cancer.